being average

first 1/4 century

first crush. first love.unsuitable. different mentality. too conservative. too open. shallow. to deep to laugh. summer fling. one night stand. travel buddy. fuck buddy. too old. too young. cheap. beater. mental abuser. physical abuser.no chemistry. not my fantasy. drugie or rather not a drugie drunkie or rather not a drunkie. intimidated. intimidating. local. nonlocal. just friends. friends with benefits.friend when needed. only friends. mother fucking player. too big of a loser. ...


round 2? stability? screw that.

The rope I climb has no tied ends to hold my fate. I keep reminding myself that self-preservation is one of my mind duties yet the tar keeps blocking the gateways . Transic tones from the last grave I danced in sets me gliding between heaven and hell..
wouldn't I want to go to heaven before I die? those seconds of white teeth and pulsing eyes.
to hear my own internal laughs. that some of you might hear.

>>>> if only I could only enjoy the silence of average.