Wednesday, August 25, 2010


~ { B R A I N } ~
I smashed my head on a wall to split my head.
I made way through the cells to enter
I found a room filled with boxes
Nervously tearing Them open
There where boxes filled with childhood toys. ..
One box was so bright from meditation , I opened it and found God …
Some were filled with magazine issues…
Some boxes that were empty …
Some were filled with money..
little boxes that were pure green..
The room was not so well lit , there were corners I couldn't see.

~ { H E A R T } ~
I stabbed my own heart ,
Made a large wound ,
expecting to find the Red District
but found a Dead Black old raped raisin
dusted off the Tobacco Tar
All I could see are the wrinkles from every hand that touched it…
People , Passion and hope come and leave
They all leave their wrinkles
Spare me the anti wrinkle cream Recommendation.

~ { E Y E S } ~
I focused on the Pixels
impressed by the slideshow
This Movie Theatre has some deep scenes
What more could be seen
I'm all out of popcorn
don't wanna get bored with routine
I need to change this movie
In some scenes I covered my little sister's eyes
Hopefully she will never get to see this shit
What Rate should I give this film!

~ { L I P S } ~
Rotten air filled with curse words keep trying to escape
The tongue keeps trying to hold in Saliva it might clean this place up..

~ { W O M B } ~
With my own bare decisive Hands
I ripped through the fat tissue to
Reach down to the egg that always reminds me
Im nothing but a chicken
On top of my lungs I scream
Ecos came back to me
what would happen if I just fry this egg!
how much will I regret it later?

~ { B A C K } ~
I caught a reflection of what could be a spine
but found stabbed fragments with friends signature on it.
Notre Dam is a beauty queen next to me.
Thanks precious dad for having my back.

~ { V A G I N A } ~

I lay on my back and spread my legs…

Out comes the clear flood …

I'm sinking in there

feels like a water park

I'm thinking of shutting down

at least till I find a vine to replace the raisin….

it astonishes me how simply people look at mirrors ….
if I bought a mirror that was already fragmented …
will it be more clear?

Friday, February 26, 2010

being average

first 1/4 century

first crush. first love.unsuitable. different mentality. too conservative. too open. shallow. to deep to laugh. summer fling. one night stand. travel buddy. fuck buddy. too old. too young. cheap. beater. mental abuser. physical chemistry. not my fantasy. drugie or rather not a drugie drunkie or rather not a drunkie. intimidated. intimidating. local. nonlocal. just friends. friends with benefits.friend when needed. only friends. mother fucking player. too big of a loser. ...

round 2? stability? screw that.

The rope I climb has no tied ends to hold my fate. I keep reminding myself that self-preservation is one of my mind duties yet the tar keeps blocking the gateways . Transic tones from the last grave I danced in sets me gliding between heaven and hell..
wouldn't I want to go to heaven before I die? those seconds of white teeth and pulsing eyes.
to hear my own internal laughs. that some of you might hear.

>>>> if only I could only enjoy the silence of average.

layers of my heart

The rooted tree on the sidewalk carried the carvings of the unnoticed feelings you have for me that is still there but is forgotten. Three times today I looked outside the window side to see if it is changed has not..but you have changed.

With the needle you hold carrying the blue & red threads you made your amature stitches on the organ that used to be my heart. I throw in my laundry basket my body parts to clean it from your calculated touch. I keep the tough spots for me to go down on my knees,raise my dress, spread my legs and scrub my organs till the bones are loose. Would you not forgive me for my inablity to forgive you for the loose dager you held behind my back and stabbed me with when the clock struck twelve. or the stone you hid to club me with when we would shiver?

Do you still want to pin me to the wall and wrap my weak bones with the red quilt meat..

Saturday, September 12, 2009

brighter shasow

The reality of my imagination is a drowned line which the pigeon pooped on.
I coughed my funny fears with traces of sweet purple blood that shaped the word expired love on the dry floor branded with MADE IN VENUS barcode.

my waist expanded with the lines of the crew that worked on creating my belly button...there they hid in the core of my USB fridge, with fat data

The sticky sugar is not my favourite...DAMN IT HURTS
It hurts as much as the itch inside my envious brain drives me numb of the ants crawling in my veins., the peacock standing on my nose spread its feathers to tell you absolute the grey matter ..your mental abuse matters it crowded my patriotic statues that hails racism..your ideolistic unrythmic poem did not fit their criteria...standing next to the old red lady shedding waves from the cans that stabbed her from the last shit I took in the stall

the white rose is desaturated

I exhale the tar i hid last month in my wide open cuboard, please untie my little toe from the chains that tied it instead of your big clown feet...

I caged the blind pigeon to set it free to the truth of my unwanting desire to leave...but did

It's done, I told the the third wall in the basement not the fourth.

Friday, September 11, 2009

body language.

In the middle of the noisy crowded living room I was disturbed by the phone ringing, tv too loud to actually listen, my sister's friends ringing the house bell one after the other and my parents sharing their thoughts on top of their lungs. I was trying hard to concentrate on my inner thoughts.

Today in the middle of my daily noise pollution all was silenced in my head by Akram khan and Sylvia. The breath taking meditation on love and obsession. a display of speed, precision and tender body power.

It shocked me that beyond all cultures and different regions, relegions, languages and ideals one thing was able to transend all these differences and find a common essence...POWER STRUGGLE ...

I found myself and everyone around me relating to the sense of tension in a starting relationship the height of authority desire and the sudden discord..followed by t
he deepest connection. All expressed with body language that could make anyone from anywhere tear down from a heightened reality.

I think it touched me more because I felt I was there in the moment with them fighting on discording silently hoping to connect....

I just saw part of it on you tube and hope one day to see it live...also recommend seeing zero degrees